Monday, May 25, 2009

Consider someone else...

So....been busy rocking the roll as of late. The band (said gun) went down to occupied territory (Tucson) and played to some touring bands and hells angels. It was a decent performance for the said gun transcendentalist comedic support squad, but the touring bands were pretty sweet. I had never actually been to Tucson and the place seems pretty decent, like a smaller, less urban sprawled Phoenix with a better University. Actually it felt like old town Scottsdale with out the D-Baggery. But any and Sarah and some friends went and saw the Canadian vegetarian recruitment team known as Propagandhi Sunday night, and of course it was rad, and yes me and the wife are way into being vegetarian more than when we showed up. If you have the means of seeing these dudes this year at soem time, DO IT!

Well...whatelse? I went to two 30 birthday galas this week. This either means I am getting old, or I need to make new friends that are closer to 18 than to 40. UHMMM...the baby cools, so is Sarah, the long weekend has given us all a chance to get to know each other. For example, Sarah feels all brown skinned people should be counted as 1/5th a human and the baby prefers straight chocolate over neopalontin ice cream. (made all that up, except the parts about ice cream and brown skinned folk.)

So Uhmmm. How about some pics
(editors note: If you live in Portland and 4.5 minutes from a river that shoots fireworks out of boats, then you can eat a dick. That isn't cool and I am not jealous)

she was hanging from her suspension boots doing inverted sit ups.

Notice the gray on this bloated dude behind 2 days growth of mustache...get a clue old timer.

seconds after this photo was taken she was ejected from this ejector seat into space to fix the hubble telescope.

This is what I wake up to...that and a sense of failure and the smell of last nights booze/smokes.

Peace I am out....jetting like a run away slave.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Damn Dirty Apes

So the NRA was in town this weekend and the urban exploration team consisting of Sarah, Me, Penelope, Ben and Hannah, made an excursion into the concrete wilds of Downtown Phoenix. We had several objectives
A) To pry some guns from some cold dead hands (which would have been a realistic possibility as the majority of people at the Phoenix Convention Center were eligible for the senior citizens discount)
B) Go to the downtown Farmers Market (missed that)
C) Get to know what gentrification has done to this dust spittin' cowtown

We drove down to the library and parked there as the rest of our adventure would be by foot or train.

The goal here was to check out a culture pass so we could go to art museums free of charge....we failed, they were all checked out. But we did get some good city views from the 5th floor. Above is not one of those, its of the reading area. I really like this place its so sanitary feeling.

Next we hit the trains, were all the ww2 hat wearin' NRA convention going folk gave there seat up to Sarah who was strapped with a baby, thanks doods.

We hit the central and Van Buren station to find a roadside coffee shop at the Hotel San Carlos, it was decent, the price was right and the hotel is friggin cool, its like the Monte Vista in Flagstaff only kept up well and with a pool on the roof that hosts "Adult Swims" ie: bands or dj's playing while people "swim"

After that we decided to get a better view of our surroundings so we headed up the Hyatt glass elevators to the compass restaurant (the round hockey puck thing) the views from the 21st floor signaled that we needed to check out the Rossen House (pictured above)
The Rossen house is in Phoenix heritage Square, next to the Science Center, Phoenix History Museum, The Rose and Crown bar and Pizzaria Bianco. It was built in the 1890's and its pretty rad, worth the $5 entry.

On our way back to the train station, we passed the old Professional Building. An art deco staple of Phoenix that was once the head quarters of valley national bank. It is currently completely gutted and empty. It was supposed to be "Hotel Monroe" but the funding all went dry and all that stands is a monument to gentrification and bad economy's. Above is a picture of the less glorious west tower, the east tower looks straight out of batman, but is covered in scaffolding.

So that was it, Penelope had fun I think, I got hot and pretty tired, the night before I played at an Art Gallery with some folk dudes from Memphis who I have no business sharing the stage with

So talk to you doods and dood-ettes later.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Michael Keaton has got nothing on me

Today is the first prolonged one on one, mano y mano, welter weight title bought between me and Penelope. Sarahs brother Jonny is apparently having a kid today, so we suppose we will let the free child care slide for today, but just this once! So...I am at home with the little one and we are hanging out, we ordered pizzas, smoked rolled cigerettes, watched a little adult programming, you know, let it all hang out. We are both currently not wearing pants, just the under garments and t-shirts, we are LIVING!

She is wearing a DiamondBacks t-shirt, in hopes they rally behind Manny Ramirez getting 50 games for steriods, any way.

So, I have been having alot of discussions with a co-worker I have mentioned before, and they are a little lopsided, mostly because, and facts prove this, I have the best opinion ever, and he is a jackass.

The newest one: Another co-worker, some phone jokey with khakis and a polo shirt, had a really bad car accident like two years ago. He had some serious spine injurys and just recently learned how to walk again. D-bag co-worker see's him limp by and says to me

"you know, I wonder if he relizes I have 7 more injurys them him"
in fake interest I say:
"oh really, maybe you should tell him, becasue I am sure he really wants to know the number of injuries you have had"
(not that bad of a burn, I know, it was a long day and I had rasberyy iced tea, yeah , I know)
he replies
"I have broken my legs twice, cracked my skull open, and you know about my broken collar bone"

--ok, never mind that hid list didn't add up to seven, the main focus here is his collor bone, dude says he broke his collar bone a week before he started working with me, and he never got it properly healed....we work in a warehouse where you pick up heavy things all day long, its actually what they pay us to do. He picks up heavy things, I am not a collorboneocalogist or anything but I am 100% sure that you can not pick up 75 pound boxes of bullshit, let alone anything, with a broken collar bone, especially one that has never healed.

So dude is a sack, whatever, it angered me, and I know it shouldn't, that he compared a phantom collar bone break to a spine injury that made a person un able to use the lower half of his body for one whole friggin year!

Lets get the tally
Spine injury > coller bone
Prince > kid Rock
watching grass grow > hockey
getting kicked in the junk > nick cage

I feel safe to say you all agree with me and I cheer your excellent taste.
Oh, one more thing...I can go for days. We are working, and we work on computers along with scales and stuff, real "high" tech stuff, and he was playing Pearl Jam allllllll day. I snapped and said enough!, "We do not need to listen to Evenflo for the 6th time today, why in the hell are you even listening to Pearl jam let alone a monster block of it"
His response was he got a text from the "coolest guy " he knows that said something to the effect of "today is listen to Pearl Jam day, they are the best band ever!"

I ask how the coolest guy he knows could think Pearl Jam is the best band ever, and here is his description of this most awesome Pearl Jam fanatic: He is totally cutting edge and extreme man, he does herion, wears flannel and has really long hair, he really pushes the boundaries on cool" (I shit you not, I thought he was joking also, but after a couple, stop effing with me's, it dawned on me that he thinks this dude is cool.)

I immediately called bull shit. There is no way in 2009 is there some one in Phoenix Arizona that wears flannel, doc martins and has long hair, does heroin and still jams out to pearl jam, it can't possibly be! He swears to god. I repeatedly told me A) God hates liars and St. peter is keeping tabs (he responded with "what") B) this dude does not do heroin, he has watched Singles Waaaay to many times and is living vicariously thru some dude from 15 years ago. (which was responded with "I never understand what your saying) C) NO FUCKING WAY do you think that is cool...How can you, its totally not cool, its totally a lie and ITS TOTALLY NOT TRUE.....PEARL JAM SUCKS (coming from some one who used to like Pearl Jam)

He didn't understand anything I said apparently because he went on playing his Pearl jam, with a little Candle box mixed in, and living is reality of shit that was lame 15 years ago is cool today......

I like hanging with Penelope better........


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dom this ones for you

It has been brewing, stewing and pollutin'. I have been "busy" soaking in a whole mess of things that annoy me, and that seems to be all I write about, so with out further ado, on to the show.

The baby is coo-ing, if that is how who spell that, and she pushed herself up with the herculean strength of a pre-modern technology body builder yesterday and held it for minutes, crawling soon, prolly, she does use her head as a pivot point to wiggle herself in to uncomfortable positions, so I am assuming crawling into the pile of glass and staples we have in the living room is the next logical step. Needless to say (actually not really needless....I have just decided i hate that phrase, last time you will hear it here) She also is showing signs of having red hair, which will effectively end all attraction to red haired girls, but I am excited, as is the wife...and speaking of the wife.....

Sarah is back to work and while not hating work, missing the baby, and bummed she is not with said baby. We take the child to her grandmothers to be watch, who is stepping up to the plate to be our designated hitter for the time being (that is also the last baseball reference...I will soon eliminate the use of vowels and then light myself on fire, stay tuned). Speaking of Grandma Platt...

The baby is headed to a bible study today, not for her but for the g-ma, which will be the 2nd church experience in 3 days for Penelope. My god daughter sold her soul ---errr---got confirmed into the catholic faith sunday and as a prudent and devoted godfather I had some one killed in her honor, oh and went for the icecream reception. As a person who doesn't believe in a higher power other than APS, its wierd bringing the babe to these functions, at thats all they are, functions for people who have similar viewpoints on how contraception should be encouraged and administered hang out. I am not so hot on religion as a dogma, but hell everyone is looking for some truth and answers, religious folk have found theres, no fault in that. Its just the baby is already speaking tongues, I don't want any miracles randomly occurring. And speaking of miracles...

Well this has nothing to do with miracles, buuuut, last night i went and saw Joe lally, the bass player for one of the greatest things to happen to drums, two guitars and bass plus vocals (FUGAZI) and it was kinda weird. He played free form Jazz melodies with a guitarist who is best described as not that good, and then he went into the crowd (there was 15 of us) and meditated while the band played some world music (not tight, if I wanted to see sting I would have....ugghhh...think of something clevor involving sting) Me and rick were there, dude was smaller than rick (that means skinny and short) it was a fun night though. And speaking of fun

I have had several discussions with this dude I begrudgingly call a coworker, and the two topics that really trigger my anger were "Kid Rock is better than prince" and "Nicolas Cage is a good actor."
To wrap this all up as I have lost interest: NOTHING is better than prince...I am serious, and Nick Cage is the worst movie maker since...think of a bad movie and or actor and then visualize something worse...that is how bad Nick Cage and his craptasic movies are.

til the sun meets the ocean,