Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Lets Talk About the Weather

So, everyone likes to talk about the weather, its a common factor in every ones lives. I, for one, hate the weather. Not that I don't like the actual weather, I hate the topic. Don't get me wrong, I do on occasion like to talk weather and enjoy a good ol' weather convo' sometimes, but here in Phoenix Arizona there is one type of weather. And that is hot.

Sure sometimes its really nice and sometimes it even gets really cold, but for the most part, its usually hot here. I personally like the heat, or it doesn't really bother me that much. I rarely turn my car AC full blast. I don't really like humidity, but it isn't the worst thing in the world. Any way, i will talk weather if its a nice day ala not hot, or if a really intense storm came thru, or talk weather about somewhere else, like "I can't believe it was 65 in South Dakota the other day, thats like winter weather here." But that is where it stops. And usually I tire of that really quick.

The reason I bring this up is because co-workers (the people you spend a vast majority of your time with) LOVE to talk weather. Particularly the female co-worker who doesn't really have alot going on outside of work, or has a vicarious life she lives thru various reality TV shows. For example, and this applies everywhere, but we will us my direct reference. Minutes ago on my lunch brake, I had the same conversation with a co-worker I have had with here lets say around 230 times.

I ask, "How are you"
She replies " Fine, if it wasn't so hot"

So several things roll thru my head, first I think: great she is going to stretch this into a weather conversation, second: we live in a desert, a very hot desert, its always hot, leave if it is going to continuously ruin your day, day after friggen day, third: smoke your Marlboro 100 and get inside, do not light another one of the dying ember-ed butt of the one you just finished, smoking is gross (I smoke and I know its vile) and chain smoking is grosser AND your outside in the dreaded heat.

And before I can reply, she goes into the weather. I wish it would rain (everyone does, I have never met anyone in Phoenix who has ever said, "goddamn it, RAIN, my mortal enemy, if I could die never seeing a rain cloud again I would die a happy man") That storm Friday wasn't enough.

Ok, well I can talk about that storm Friday, afterall I saw some really neat lightning (that Sarah missed, I am sorry). Now, before we go on, I must mention something else I don't like to really talk about. Driving. Everyone has driving stories, narrowly avoided wrecks, death defying rides home from work, complaints about bad drivers. For all the people that complain about bad drivers, you'd think we live in a world of no accidents, because according to everyone, they are all good drivers, its other people who are bad. I don't care about bad drivers, yea I will get angry, but I get angry at lots of things, you don't see me striking up conversations on a regular basis about how much I hate that every burrito place tastes the same, looking at you Filibertos and the like, and they should offer more distinct and unique menu items or why do people refuse to use recycle bins when they are provided to your fat ass by the city and left by your goddamn front door.

So, our story here, the girl starts talking about how everyone is a bad driver in the rain. Well, it doesn't rain here very often, what are we supposed to do? My windshield wipers are rotten an dI feel no need to get new ones, as it doesn't effing rain here, my tires, not ment for traction in water, a seemingly random micro burst of gail force wind coupled with rain that springs out of no where...yea, I am going to slow down real fast in that.

How am i suppose to really talk with or at you, when its a non stop barrage of the same ol' woe is me I hate the heat. STOP IT. MOVE ON. I said good day and walked inside after my patio encounter.

Anyway. People, get some new material, I am tired of the "I hate the heat" "I wish it will rain" "people are bad drivers" "you never make sense when you try and make fun of me" song and dance. I want to talk to you, and I KNOW you are more than the same conversation had over and over and is totally meaningless. Tell me a story about racoons, tell me a racist joke, explain how you came to live in your car, something other than weather and driving.

That is all, over and out, yup.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

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(editors note, the following blog was written by Penelope, I am not sure, but it may be a review on the new Harry Potter Collectors edition DVD , or an essay on the horticulture of the desert southwest, but its really any ones guess. This is also a picture from here Point of view)

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Don't bring me down

According to this article from the Republican Herald in Pennsylvania, some kids beat to death an illegal alien and two got fines and probation and one got house arrest til he was 21. Here in Phoenix, if you haven't heard, some African refugee kids gang raped a little girl, also an African refugee. While that trail is still pending, it is looking like they will try these kids as adults and really go after them for doing some seriously heinous shit. Well, if you look at both situations, they hold similar events, young kids doing something seriously dramatic and violent. In Pennsylvania it is ok to beat someone to death, in Arizona (hopefully) you can't gang rape. What the hell is wrong with PA? I am not sure the details in either of these cases but its really sad and lame that instead of melting army guys or even trying to make out with girls (or guys, why not) kids are committing real life Law and Order episodes, and justice is drastically different in different parts of the country. Come on, no one should be raped, no one should be killed, it doesn't matter, I mean isn't this in the bible or something, or at the very least effing the right thing to do, dang!

This all kinda bums me out, because
A. I like good news
B. I don't want my kid, or your kid or any kid, to live in such a violent and negative world.

Another example of the hate instead of love going on in the world err the USA is the debates and tensions over the health care bill. While I applaud citizens of the country making there voice heard, its your civic duty, sing it loud, but I feel it is morphing and polarizing our community into an us vs them mentality. The angry screaming and yelling "mobs" that are upset about this bill are making there voice heard, but the "media" (I am still not sure what the liberal media is and where it can be found) are painting them in a bad light, or so Fox news says. Here's the deal, Fox News is in the business of selling cars, Crackers, Erection Pills and whatever else they advertise. They don't tell you news, they spin and spin and spin and create controversy and get people railed up so they get more ratings. its simple and that's fine. But this health care issue is no longer about the health care bill, its about either being in an angry mob or being a patriot. Listen people: speak up for yourself. Listen Fox News: report news and stop preaching hate and trying to turn people against each other. Listen law makers: your constituents are speaking, pay attention. Listen everyone: Democrat, republican, Zoroaster...we are all United States Citizens, lets work together or at least act civil, lets make this place better, lets not get distracted by what we are labeled by television corporations trying to sell us advertising. Lets do it for the right reasons, because we care about where our country is headed, not by the motivational nonsense of Glen Beck.

But what else is there to talk about that isn't a complete bummer? Penelope has been sleeping in her bed for the better part of the night, she joins us in the early morning to get some food and crowd my space. She does some funny sleep poses in her crib that cannot be comfy, but she has to learn, right?, that is why we all don't sleep with our heads in a corner laying on our bellys curled up in a ball, like if someone did a cannonball and just kinda landed and stayed that way. She is days away from making a crawling like move, she army crawls all over and gets up on her hands and knees, she just doesn't know what to do after that. Its exciting, it took me 5 months to learn how to use the picture function on this blog site, she went from knowing nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, to...well, she still doesn't really know anything, but more than she did before and crawling almost. Its cool.

See you on the flipside.

Monday, August 10, 2009

A Crappy Post

Chompies is dead to the "The Rials" blog brain trust. Ever since the move to PV Mall it has been one culinary disappointment after another, and for $30 last Saturday for essentially a bagel (the only thing enjoyable) its over. I (Corey, if you haven't figured out that I am the voice of this here blog, well....now you know) have been choking down the chalky fiber laxative called Metamucil. Not because I am irregular, oh no, not me ladies, I am regular as a headache after gin, I am taking it for the fiber. Apparently, and this is according to a non medical professional, Sayllium fiber is a great fighter of cholesterol, and that is the main ingredient in Metamucil. As far as my BM's after the regular intake of the 'Mus, well that isn't your business, but what is your business is the conversation I overheard at the last time I will ever go to Chompies.

So me and the Family were sitting in a booth, and behind us was a pair of 40 something ladies. We were done "eating" the craptastic meal they brought us and were waiting for the bill, so you know, we were all lethargic and silent, just soaking in the atmosphere and making fun of the random people. Behind us, the 40 something ladies were conversing about something when by the 4th mention of diarrhea our interest was peaked.

So from what I could gather from this convo' was that
A) there is a kid that has really bad handwriting.
B) One of the ladies for some reason or the other has to read this handwriting
C) the ladie that has to read the handwriting gets anxiety from reading the poor penmanship
D) the lady that gets anxiety from reading the poor script gets diarrhea with see gets anxiety.

So, to bring this all home, this lady gets diarrhea every time she reads this poor handwriting. I do not know if this is medically possible, or what, but I really really want to let the kid who has the poor handwriting the power he has. I mean damn! he has diarrhea inducing handwriting, what the eff! Right? This is amazing, this kid, and I am hoping this lady is a teacher and he is a student, could cut class short with the stroke of his pen, he could write this lady letters and torment her life. This is amazing to me, and not because it is totally ridiculous, but because it is totally ridiculous, beyond belief AND involves poop. WOW.

See you in the want ads.

Fan the flames of interest

It has been a while since my words have blazed from this screen onto the retinas of your innocent eyes. How are you doing? Whats that? Oh, I can't hear you because this is just a collection of words in arial font...I see, maybe you should start a blog. That is what I have been up to lately, reading other peoples blogs...and playing dice games. If you scroll down about half way down this page and look to the right, there is a list of blogs we officially endorse, there is the works our awesome and 6 foot plus friend loren and his zany antics in Portland Oregon (by zany I mean off the hook and by off the hook I mean he has pics of a bug) there is the blog of our friends shane and Julie, known as Shulie, and there chronicle of living semi simultaneous lives as us (by semi I mean they don't have a kid and one of them has like a real and professional job, but they did also just buy a house) there is the story of Nick and Jenni children, Bens random string of curse words he uses to form sentences, our good buddies in California and there over stylized dispatches about there daughter Carmen and a blog I generally rip off called the Bad Sandwich Chronicles. So yeah, alot of good stuff, read away!

So we last left you with Penelope eating rice cereal, she still does that, she likes it and is better at eating but the smallest distraction steals her attention, much like me when I am driving...wait...no nothing like that, I am focused like a serial killer in a women's gym. Penelope has been rolling and getting up on all fours, I believe flight may be the next step, if I read my how to raise pigeons book correctly.

The before mentioned buddies from California via PHX via Las Vegas where in town functioning at about 65%, but we will go in to details about that tomorrow (quick summery: we played dice games and took a couple pics)

The Yo, commonly referred to as Bobby Big Guns easy mac ill BLZ Green had his birthday Friday at Four Peaks in Tempe (of course) it was fun, again dice games ruled the night. I started making concrete plans about where to stay in Las Vegas come the end of August.....wow, this was a very boring entry huh?......well, write your own blog then!

We are going to try to do one of these everyday this week, so get stoked.