Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Lets Talk About the Weather

So, everyone likes to talk about the weather, its a common factor in every ones lives. I, for one, hate the weather. Not that I don't like the actual weather, I hate the topic. Don't get me wrong, I do on occasion like to talk weather and enjoy a good ol' weather convo' sometimes, but here in Phoenix Arizona there is one type of weather. And that is hot.

Sure sometimes its really nice and sometimes it even gets really cold, but for the most part, its usually hot here. I personally like the heat, or it doesn't really bother me that much. I rarely turn my car AC full blast. I don't really like humidity, but it isn't the worst thing in the world. Any way, i will talk weather if its a nice day ala not hot, or if a really intense storm came thru, or talk weather about somewhere else, like "I can't believe it was 65 in South Dakota the other day, thats like winter weather here." But that is where it stops. And usually I tire of that really quick.

The reason I bring this up is because co-workers (the people you spend a vast majority of your time with) LOVE to talk weather. Particularly the female co-worker who doesn't really have alot going on outside of work, or has a vicarious life she lives thru various reality TV shows. For example, and this applies everywhere, but we will us my direct reference. Minutes ago on my lunch brake, I had the same conversation with a co-worker I have had with here lets say around 230 times.

I ask, "How are you"
She replies " Fine, if it wasn't so hot"

So several things roll thru my head, first I think: great she is going to stretch this into a weather conversation, second: we live in a desert, a very hot desert, its always hot, leave if it is going to continuously ruin your day, day after friggen day, third: smoke your Marlboro 100 and get inside, do not light another one of the dying ember-ed butt of the one you just finished, smoking is gross (I smoke and I know its vile) and chain smoking is grosser AND your outside in the dreaded heat.

And before I can reply, she goes into the weather. I wish it would rain (everyone does, I have never met anyone in Phoenix who has ever said, "goddamn it, RAIN, my mortal enemy, if I could die never seeing a rain cloud again I would die a happy man") That storm Friday wasn't enough.

Ok, well I can talk about that storm Friday, afterall I saw some really neat lightning (that Sarah missed, I am sorry). Now, before we go on, I must mention something else I don't like to really talk about. Driving. Everyone has driving stories, narrowly avoided wrecks, death defying rides home from work, complaints about bad drivers. For all the people that complain about bad drivers, you'd think we live in a world of no accidents, because according to everyone, they are all good drivers, its other people who are bad. I don't care about bad drivers, yea I will get angry, but I get angry at lots of things, you don't see me striking up conversations on a regular basis about how much I hate that every burrito place tastes the same, looking at you Filibertos and the like, and they should offer more distinct and unique menu items or why do people refuse to use recycle bins when they are provided to your fat ass by the city and left by your goddamn front door.

So, our story here, the girl starts talking about how everyone is a bad driver in the rain. Well, it doesn't rain here very often, what are we supposed to do? My windshield wipers are rotten an dI feel no need to get new ones, as it doesn't effing rain here, my tires, not ment for traction in water, a seemingly random micro burst of gail force wind coupled with rain that springs out of no where...yea, I am going to slow down real fast in that.

How am i suppose to really talk with or at you, when its a non stop barrage of the same ol' woe is me I hate the heat. STOP IT. MOVE ON. I said good day and walked inside after my patio encounter.

Anyway. People, get some new material, I am tired of the "I hate the heat" "I wish it will rain" "people are bad drivers" "you never make sense when you try and make fun of me" song and dance. I want to talk to you, and I KNOW you are more than the same conversation had over and over and is totally meaningless. Tell me a story about racoons, tell me a racist joke, explain how you came to live in your car, something other than weather and driving.

That is all, over and out, yup.

1 comment:

  1. A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

    Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

    "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

    Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

    On a side note: I love talking about the weather, to my grandmother, who just turned 80, and doesnt have her hearing aid in all the time. Old people love to talk about weather.