Monday, July 6, 2009

Rock you like a hurricane

the Fourth of July came and went and our nation is one year closer to death, or more kindly put older. I had some friends over for some food and drinks and the hopes of watching fireworks from all across the valley. We saw some really far away, you would think being atop a mountain would lend to steller views of fireworks, but no. Sorry for any little kid that was pumped on fireworks, my bad. But we had some of our own provided by Mike and my mother, so that was fun,we shot them off right next to a desert y mountain, but we had a hose so like you know....nothing bad could have happened right?

So...the Scorpions song reference in the title...why you ask....well, I live next to Stony Mountain, part of the Phoenix North Mountain Preserve and let me tell you, they should rename it stronghold for scorpions who want to come into my house mountain. While not yet a pandemic, three scorpions have met there fate on my watch, and that is three too many. These things are scary man, and from what I have read there is no stopping them save complete removal of all bugs from my property. There are some tricks to control them, and one of those is a Scorpion raiding party. So in the near future you will see me equip ted in night vision black light goggles and a triggered butane torch lighting bugs on fire in the middle of the night. Awesome.

But we got to take care of this problem. I am thinking a wall, these scorpions are illegally coming into my yard, never mind they lived here first and really, what is Private property, and they are taking my jobs (killing bugs like cockroaches and crickets), my social security (I am not secure in being bare foot) and selling drugs (for the pesticide companies as I will be buying lots and lots of this to prevent the scorpion migration. Man these things have kids they carry on there backs to look for water and food, and then guess what...they leave the kids and move on, now these kids are in my yard thinking they live here and have a right to be here, man eff that, this is mine, I worked "hard" in an air conditioned work place to get this. So nothing short of an embargo and a complete diplomatic overhaul with Sierra Stoney...errr...stoney mountain will solve this problem in the nation of Rialzona.


Am I reaching...

could have done better....

fine, write at you later.

1 comment:

  1. Dude, that's a lot of scorpions. I think that there is some kind of high-frequency pulse machine (thingy) that you can get, but I don't remember if it was made for scorpions or babies, so it's a gamble.

    Dude, your house was super fun! I'm looking forward to Shulies party this weekend. Man, so much going on lately, this RULEZ! Nick WUZ Here --> Nick