Sunday, October 31, 2010

All is fair

So the crack game of chance fair game sharks known as the Rial Blog Night on the Town Blitz Package went to the Arizona State Fair this weekend. We ate 37 deep fried sticks of butter and shared one massive turkey (ostrich) leg. We suffered several cardiac arrests on the sky buckets.

Anyway. 1/3 rd of our crack investigative flag foot ball team isn't so hyped on the fair. 1/3rd is incredibly hyped on the fair. And the other 1/3rd is a pre toddler (like pre teen, tween, its twad, you will see this in the up coming Babies R' US catalog, coming in time from Christmas) So as 2/3rds of us took in the high culture of the fair, the remaining 1/3rd hung out with old ladies in a trailer park. BIG THANK YOU to Encanto Trailer Court for doing us that solid last minute, you guys will be getting a fruit cake for Kwanzaa, this is fact.

So, not wanting to pay the extortionist-esque high prices for parking, we quickly pulled into the first $5 lot we could find. It was manned by a battalion of grizzled homeless dudes. Which was actually pretty cool, more on them later. We walked thru the prize cow/ future hamburgers of America exhibit and into the boiling mess that is the fair grounds. We saw your standard fair crowd, girls who will be mothers by this time next year, couples on dates, gothic kids, gang members, families, street walking cheetahs, the standard. We strolled the alleys and looked at the amateur collect exhibits, took some photos in a photo booth, explored the bowels of the Mad House on McDowell, which was very cool.

Now, please know that we are die hard fans of the Association. The band and the national basketball association. So this place holds alot in our hearts. I (corey) have scene my fair share of Suns games there. Two stand outs were the Showtime Lakers and the Portland Tailblazers. I have also spent a fair amount of time in the parking lot scalping tickets with my dad, which wasn't so rad, but still a bonding moments none the less. Anyway, the place is ancient, and the lounge that I am sure was swanky as all get out, and still smells of cigarette smoke to this day, was sorta a trip. I am positive I have been in there before, as I have spent some time in bars in and around the 19th avenue drag thru downtown/central Phoenix as a small lad with my dad, but to go to that place as an adult and think of Al McCoy stopping in for a Manhattan or Kurt Rambis pounding some Budweiser's really got me hyped.

Now, all this basket ball talk, why? Well, the damn prizes for most all the fair games were Lakers jerseys. WHAT! Sacrilegious! Does RCS (the fair folk) now where they are! Lakers WTF! I wanted to play all these games then deep fry all the lakers jerseys in the place, as a sign of respect to Cotton Fitzsimmons. Jesus.

We did play a game though, we had $5 worth of tickets, which equals one game. So dumb, so we decided to buy a basket of of rings to throw over coke bottles, as it was the only thing we could both do together due to the lack of tickets flow we had. We knew we wouldn't win, and we didn't want to, as the prizes for this particular game we stuffed animals the size of full grown polar bears. We guess the eff what. We won. Son of a bitch!! What are we going to do with a massive stuffed animal! We live in a 1300 Sgft house, and we have too much crap as it is, and by too much we have barely anything. What are we going to do with a 6 foot long 3 feet tall stuffed alligator! I couldn't even carry the damn thing, and I am a very strong and handsome person who should be more then capable of carrying a stuffed animal. Well, Mexican family trying to leave the fair unscathed and with no garbage, guess what, you just got a massive stuffed animal. The little girl was stoked, the dad, all he said was GRANDE! and just starred at the dumb new addition to his house. Your welcome pal. I bet your thinking SB 1070 was a good idea now, as I am sure they don't produce retarded massive stuffed alligators in New Spain.

So we return to the car, to see that the parking lot had closed up for the night, we thought, what a waste, but no, it wasn't, the homeless dudes where still on the grounds watching our car, and digging thru the trash with the glow from the rave bracelet thing's they used to lure cars into the lot in the first place. That was awesome.

Keep it classy Internet.

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