So I went to a coffee drive thru hut today because of poor driving decisions I ended up taking the road less traveled (by me) and ended up in a Dutch Bros drive thru. The following is a transcript of what happened:
(I pull up to the order window, Bachman Turner Overdrives "You Aint Scene Nothing Yet" is blarring at a way to loud volume for that song, even for 1974)
Coffe Dude (a tall, robust man in his late 20's with a orange red beard and spikes up faux hawk/spikes thingy and tons of tatoos, the ones I could make out where a panther, a horse show, flames, a can of motor oil)
any way--Coffee Dude - what up bro! what it be?
Me - can I get an iced coffee please?
Coffee Dude - you look like you really want a mocha (I did actually)
Me - ok, I will take a ....(he had walked away before I could state my size, and with the loud 70's rock, no way he was hearing me anyway at this point his counter part coffee girl walks up)
Coffee Chick - large iced mocha quad (at this point my order is totally out of my hands, what the hell is a quad? Coffee dude come back up)
Coffee dude - so how is your day? what are you up to?
Me - on my way to work (and I am cut off before anything else can be said)
Coffee Dude - Bro work is cool, got to do something to kill the day, I mean, I can't wait til night to start smoking, you know, the ganja!
Me - oh...ok.
Coffee Chick - ok your large mocha quad will be $4.00
Coffee Dude - BRO, you have a punch card?
Me - I am ok, I don't need one
Coffee Chick - fuck that, hook him up! (said to coffee dude)
Coffee Dude - oh shit, your right here you go dude I punched it 8 times!
Coffee Chick - yeah and here is a discount, its $2.75 now, and we added an extra shot! (so at this point I went from a small iced coffee to a 5 shot large mocha, for a nominal price, and while I am thankfull, this is not what I wanted, who drinks that many shots in a glorified chocolate milk, I wasn't planning on eating anything for breakfast, but half way thru this heart attack drink I am going to start shaking from lack of nutrients my body will start with drawing from, this is not what I had planned for my day, anyway, i pay and I think as I drive away they high fived. And restared the song. I am thinking they don't really work at this place, they are actually a band of traveling serial killers who broke into the Dutch Bros shack , killed the employee and snorted various powders thru there nose, and will burn that stand down on there way to Mexico or where ever the wind takes them. Actually, I think I know this as fact.)
Shut your mouths and get back in your seats til next time.
Dang a lang a ding dong
6 years ago