Monday, October 18, 2010


People of the universe, stop being so bummed/fake bummed its Monday. Its not endearing, its not funny, its nothing new.

Really, you hate Mondays also? HELL YEAH! lets hang out, eventually start a romantic relationship, get married, buy a house, eventually flip that house for a condo in a high rise and a time share in Mexico, retire off some good investments on I HATE MONDAY paraphernalia and travel the world til our bodies fail us and we sleep with the fish.

There are 52 Mondays in the year 2010. That is more then a whole month you will spend this year hating that fact that it is Monday. Look people, we don't live on Friday Night thru Sunday alone. There are 5 days in between. Sure, Monday sucks because it starts the 40 hours plus that we have to do something we don't want to. But you know what also sucks? Not living everyday of our fleeting lives. That sucks. 52 Mondays in 2010. Lets say that is the average. And lets say you are 30. So you have only really been hating Mondays since you started hating school, lets say age 12. That is 936 days, roughly 2.5 years. Lets say your 40 that is 3.9 years. WHAT THE HELL!

The average human life span is 75 for men and 80 for women. Lets say you spend spend 53 years of that time working/going to school and hating Mondays. That is 8 years spent hating and pining for a day to be over. So drop that life expectancy down 8 years, because well, you didn't live for 8 of those years.

Now, all this math is really irrefutable, so don't try and do it in your head, you need an abacus and an ancient Mayan text written in Sheep's blood. And I KNOW all of you do not have access to that. So trust me on this. And LIVE!!! I miss my wife and kid, I hate working, but I also appreciate life and I appreciate high brow, un obvious conversation. I don't give a shit about what day of the week it is, I give a crap about bad drivers, because YOU MR./Mrs. bad driver complainer, are a bad driver, we all ARE! And I have no time to talk about the weather longer then 5 minutes ONCE a day. ONCE!!! So if you see me in public and a tornado didn't just touch down...guess what, I have already had my weather conversation, plus I already know its fucking hot. Its kinda obvious.

Any way, I was going to write about the McRib today, but you know, its Monday, so that piece will have to hang in there til Tuesday. So live life like you got a pair, everyday, no matter what day. and have a good day.

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