I Fell Off

i was sitting down and actually got half way thru a fairly lengthy post about lotion....BORING, i know, what happened? i some how fell off, not to toot my own horn (ha, toot my own horn!) but I did used to write somewhat funny/interesting things right? Well, you know on sitcoms when they run out of ideas and they just give you a montage? Well, here is our greatest hits over the past year. Read it and weep suckers.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

"...let me leave you with the plans for our guest bedroom. In order for us to save some money, pay down debt and me to get Internet phone, we are canceling the cable and upping the netflix/reading. So we have begun setting up an arts and crafts room in one of our spare bedrooms, we have a table for Sarah's sewing machine, an easel, and a noose for me to hang out on, it is going to be great. Sarahs belly has begun to do weird things like in alien right before the creature burst out that dude, so if we aren't heard from in a couple days, send a re-con team to our house, but don't send the android Bishop, he always gets killed and that white stuff they use inside him is really gross looking, and I have a new rug so yeah, that would be great..."

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Machismo y Bigote

"...I have also be getting crap from family members who A) note that I have a red beard and brown/gray hair, and apparently that angers them; and B) I look like a long shore men, which doesn't fly in the desert southwest because of lack of a shore and any type of deep sea fishing industry..."

Sunday, January 25, 2009

If it wasn't for...well something that ends in curtains.

"...Notice the technique used by the masters, the stoke, the attention to detail, the ability to humanize an octopus, brilliant indeed."

Friday, February 20, 2009

Gimme da loot, gimme da loot

"So....still no baby. I don't think i can wait anymore, I know Sarah can't. The people at work claim its a boy because boys are lazy, and they think my unborn baby is being lazy. So I quickly retorted with "this is America and you can love it or leave" and they proceeded to love it, then I left it. Work that is, to go home and have a nice lunch with Sarah when low and behold...I had been robbed. (enter organ crash and other cinematic sound effects designed to create an uneasy seems of excitement)"

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mac in action

"You know the difference between your favorite "Irish" pub and a chillis? Its the pointless crap dealer they buy their furnishings from."

Monday, May 25, 2009

Consider someone else...

"UHMMM...the baby cools, so is Sarah, the long weekend has given us all a chance to get to know each other. For example, Sarah feels all brown skinned people should be counted as 1/5th a human and the baby prefers straight chocolate over neopalontin ice cream. (made all that up, except the parts about ice cream and brown skinned folk.)"

Thursday, June 18, 2009

You will know me by the trail of chex mix......

"This little black kid maybe 11 years old max with high water pants and an exceptionally dorky long sleeve polo come up to me and asks me what I am staring at. Kid looked like a tiny Steve Urkel, I look around befuddled, and reply "I was just staring dude, nothing in particular"

He counters with a " cause if you were looking at me, I will bust you up"

Monday, August 10, 2009

Fan the flames of interest

"So we last left you with Penelope eating rice cereal, she still does that, she likes it and is better at eating but the smallest distraction steals her attention, much like me when I am driving...wait...no nothing like that, I am focused like a serial killer in a women's gym."



And that brings us up to date. Read these again and remind yourself why I thought I can write a blog.

BYE BYE